Final evening, the Royals lastly received a baseball recreation. In doing so, they snapped a seven-game shedding streak that very practically burned up their 5.5-game cushion within the Wild Card standings. The one purpose they’re nonetheless in place for the third spot this morning is that the Twins have misplaced 5 of their final six. Even so, the Royals did every little thing of their energy to keep away from getting the win final evening. They stranded 9 baserunners over the primary 4 innings and squandered an excellent begin from Cole Ragans. They took a scoreless recreation into the tenth inning, they usually scored (for the primary time in 27 innings) solely as a result of the Nationals did every little thing wanting driving the zombie runner across the bases within the bullpen cart. The Manfred Man scored when the Nationals threw the ball away within the prime of the tenth. Within the backside of the inning, with a runner on third base and two outs, the Nationals did the Royals one other favor, eradicating Nasim Nuñez, who has a .386 on-base proportion, in favor of Joey Gallo, whose OBP is greater than 100 factors decrease. In essentially the most Joey Gallo plate look of all time, the slugger was one pitch from strolling, then 10 ft from wrapping the game-winning homer round the proper discipline foul pole, earlier than lastly hanging out.
Now that the Royals have lastly received a recreation, it’s time to analyze what precisely went fallacious. The numbers weren’t nice, however they weren’t horrible both. In the course of the streak, they ran an 88 wRC+, which ranked twentieth over that interval. Their 3.24 FIP was the second finest in baseball, and their 3.79 ERA ranked 14th. They hit 10 extra homers than they allowed and their strikeout differential was up above 40. Regardless of. Six of these seven losses have been determined by both one or two runs. They only stored discovering a strategy to lose, as a result of they have been cursed. At a sure level, that’s simply the only rationalization. To ensure that Kansas Metropolis to interrupt its streak, the staff required the nice fortune of operating right into a Nationals staff that had misplaced six of its final seven, had already clinched its fifth consecutive shedding season, and performed as if it badly wished to throw away a ballgame. In different phrases, the one factor that saved the accursed Royals was operating right into a staff that was one way or the other even extra despised by the movers of the universe. In any case, if there’s one factor the baseball gods love, it’s no matter matches neatly right into a baseball author’s pre-existing narrative.
What did the Royals do to anger the baseball gods so? That’s what we’re right here to seek out out. The baseball gods may be laborious to please and even tougher to know. They’re vindictive. They’re unpredictable. Generally they like bunting, and but different occasions, not a lot. So let’s give attention to what we all know. Clearly, this infraction occurred on September 14, the date of Kansas Metropolis’s final victory earlier than the freefall. In an effort to determine what went fallacious, I went again and watched the sport carefully, taking detailed notes about any and all potential transgressions. Absolutely, one among these infractions needed to be the explanation for the skid.
First Inning
Effectively, right here’s a gimme proper off the bat. This staff is actually referred to as the Royals. They’ve obtained crowns throughout their uniforms and their stadiums. Ever heard of hubris, Kansas Metropolis? You’re claiming the divine proper of kings; no surprise the almighty needs to see you laid low. Possibly dial it right down to the Kansas Metropolis Nobles. If you wish to be further secure, you possibly can go along with the Kansas Metropolis Depressing Wretches. Identical to the remainder of us, the baseball gods love an underdog.
As if that weren’t sufficient, the second batter of the sport, Bobby Witt Jr. crushed an impressive house run. If this isn’t hubris, I don’t know what else to name it.
He’s flapping his wings like a hen. What do the Royals name this celebration, the Icarus Dance? All season lengthy, Witt has been flying too near the solar (which on this tortured metaphor is Aaron Decide, I suppose), and now his wax wings have melted and he’s fallen into the ocean to be devoured by the Detroit Tigers. Like I stated, that is simply the only rationalization.
Second Inning
That is the ultimate pitch of the second inning. It’s a four-seamer to Yasmani Grandal that’s speculated to be on the surface nook however as a substitute finally ends up low and inside. It’s a mistake, nevertheless it’s nonetheless a great location. Starter Michael Wacha marches off the mound, sure that it’s strike three. Grandal thinks it’s ball 4, and he begins towards first base and winds as much as toss his bat over towards the dugout. When he finds out he’s as a substitute been referred to as out on strikes, he shouts, “No, man,” adopted by a 70-grade F-bomb. However watch catcher Freddy Fermin behind house plate. He winds as much as throw the ball again to Wacha earlier than realizing that it must go to the primary baseman.
It’s not clear whether or not Fermin thought the pitch was a ball, didn’t understand that it was strike three, or didn’t understand that it was the third out. Both means, he’s tempting destiny. There’s one participant on the sphere who’s all the time speculated to know the state of affairs, and it’s the catcher. If it’s sufficient to make old-school baseball males weep into their beer, it’s sufficient to tempt the wrath of the no matter from excessive atop the factor.
Third Inning
Nothing to see right here. Only a regular popup, proper? Take a more in-depth look, and this time hold your eye on Wacha. He doesn’t shout, “Up!” He doesn’t even level towards the sky so as to assist any fielders who one way or the other made it to the massive leagues regardless of missing the spatial consciousness to recollect which course up is. He’s violating one among baseball’s iron-clad legal guidelines. It’s within the rulebook. It’s within the unwritten guidelines. I’m fairly positive it’s within the Structure. When the batter hits a popup, the pitcher factors up and yells, “Up!” It’s the one factor that retains the sky from falling.
Two innings earlier, Wacha remembered to level when he induced a popup from the very same hitter. What makes this omission even weirder is that Wacha is particularly well-suited to this best of duties. For those who watch the play once more, you’ll discover that he does elevate his proper hand fairly excessive. It’s a part of his follow-through, and he does it after each pitch. All he wanted to do was lengthen his index finger. There’s no person in baseball for whom this effort might’ve be simpler, and but Wacha couldn’t be bothered. Three Finger Brown is rolling over in his grave.
Fourth Inning
Do the baseball gods hate bat flips? It’s laborious to say. I’d wish to assume that they sustain with the occasions, and that whereas celebrating a house run was as soon as the type of trespass that would get you demoted to Paducah for the remainder of your residing days, the mysterious beings who stability the scales of hits and errors have discovered to get pleasure from a pleasant bat flip simply as a lot as the remainder of us. But when they do hate bat flips, then the one factor they hate much more is a bat flip that comes on a routine flyout. So MJ Melendez simply is perhaps responsible for this complete factor.
Fifth Inning
Look, this one isn’t Kansas Metropolis’s fault. The staff was simply within the fallacious place on the fallacious time. Adam Frazier is about to guide off the inning with a triple, however first he must take a warmup minimize and get located within the batter’s field and — oh. Oh no.
Apparently umpire Chad Fairchild must get located too. The very best half is what occurs after Fairchild wraps up downstairs. Frazier steps again out of the batter’s field and heaves the world’s greatest sigh. It’s laborious responsible him for needing a second to refocus after what he simply witnessed.
Later within the inning, Kyle Isbel obtained hit within the shin by a pitch. Disobeying the rule shouted by each highschool baseball participant in American historical past, he leaned over to rub the spot the place he obtained hit. Nonetheless, I believe that offense pales compared to Fairchild’s. I do know I really feel cursed after watching it.
Sixth Inning
I observed two issues within the sixth. First, it seems that Adam Frazier has his personal hip points. I don’t know if this is sufficient to anger the baseball gods. Possibly they’re into this form of factor. Both means, it’s my solemn responsibility to convey any and all pelvic gyrations to your consideration.
Simply so we’re clear, I’m not looping the identical video again and again. These are totally different pitches in the identical plate look, all within the sixth inning. Frazier actually must hold that pelvis good and limber.
The second factor appeared more likely to trigger a curse. All recreation lengthy, there have been two Royals followers within the fancy seats behind house plate. (That is off matter, however in that part, the snacks that go for Armageddon costs in the remainder of the stadium aren’t simply free, they’re tossed to you by a vendor who walks round in a full Pirates uniform. Generally you’ll see him winding as much as throw a water bottle and also you’ll assume for second that one of many perks of sitting within the fancy seats is being waited on by an precise large leaguer.) I had my eye on that pair your entire time. The fan on the left had some wonderful facial hair and a cool classic hat. (He additionally stored pouring the free water on his neck to beat the warmth, and contemplating what these water bottles value in the remainder of the stadium, it was essentially the most conspicuous consumption I’ve ever witnessed in my life.) The fan on the proper was carrying ear buds your entire recreation and looking out down consistently, both as a result of he was checking his cellphone or as a result of his left leg simply occurred to be actually fascinating.
Within the backside of the sixth, nevertheless, one of the best buddies switched seats. And simply to verify all of us knew about it, ear buds man waved straight on the digicam.
Similar seats, guys. Similar seats! We’re attempting to make the playoffs right here.
Seventh Inning
Salvador Perez and Aaron Decide are the one present gamers in baseball who’ve attained the rank of captain. Decide doesn’t put on a C on his uniform as a result of the Yankee pinstripes are sacrosanct and it could be against the law in opposition to nature to change them in any means (until it’s so as to add an infinite Nike swoosh). However have a look at Perez’s C when he comes up within the seventh. The place did they even discover a C that small?
It’s minuscule, and I imply that in essentially the most literal potential sense: It’s a lowercase C. It’s actually so small that it appears disrespectful. It’s so tiny. Did they only run out and purchase it from a Michael’s? It seems to be prefer it’s simply the copyright image for the swoosh. When Jason Varitek captained the Crimson Sox again within the 2000s, he wore an infinite C. It was really the identical dimension because the staff identify emblazoned throughout his chest.
That factor wanted its personal parking spot! Don’t inform me no person within the Kansas Metropolis clubhouse was able to find a giant chunky C for his or her large captain. They undoubtedly have one, and you understand how I do know? As a result of it’s proper there on the jersey! Simply take that one. Drawback solved. Curse damaged. You’re welcome, Kansas ity.
Eighth Inning
Fermin singled to guide off the highest of the eighth, at which level first base coach Damon Hollins helpfully gave him some ideas in regards to the new pitcher on the mound. Earlier than he might accomplish that, nevertheless, Hollins wanted to seek the advice of his notes.
That’s proper, Hollins apparently doesn’t use a kind of cool little positioning playing cards that the gamers get. He simply walks out onto the sphere each inning with a number of sheets of laptop paper folded hot-dog fashion and flapping round in his again pocket. When the state of affairs requires it, he pulls them out and searches for the correct web page like a finest man about to offer the world’s longest, sweatiest toast. How is it potential that Hollins has so many notes that it requires a number of pages? Has he by no means thought of folding the pages a second time in order that they match comfortably into his pocket with out threatening to fall out? This complete state of affairs is an affront to any variety of gods.
Ninth Inning
Look, I got here into the ninth inning pondering that I’d spherical issues off with a basic blunder; some egregious, old-school infraction tailored to anger the baseball gods. And I obtained one too. David Bednar walked leadoff batter Maikel Garcia, who promptly stole second and third, after which Isbel, who promptly stole second. The Royals had runners on second and third with no outs, after which they couldn’t handle to scratch out a single run. The following three batters went: strikeout, intentional stroll, double play. If solely they’d hit the ball the opposite means or executed a security squeeze, the baseball gods would have squealed with delight and showered them with championships.
So that ought to’ve been the top, however earlier than all of it went down, I noticed one thing much more egregious. I noticed one thing way more petty and by no means related to the sport of baseball. Nevertheless it was additionally so weird and outré that I couldn’t go with out mentioning it. Behold, Tommy Pham’s snake-skin belt buckle, full with a miniature American flag. I needed to see it and now you do too.
I don’t know what’s happening right here, however I’ve by no means seen with my very own eyes an object that was extra definitely cursed. Nonetheless, Pham wore this abomination final evening, when the Royals lastly failed right into a win, so now this accursed accent may simply be staff’s fortunate appeal.
