The Finest and The Wildest of Redneck Brawl 7: Highlights and outcomes

One other Redneck Brawl has come and gone, as a raucous Oklahoma Metropolis crowd and a faithful pay-per-view TV viewers say farewell to Redneck Brawl 7: Oklahoma vs Texas.

The primary occasion tonight was a a lot anticipated showdown between Tyler “Playboy” Holmes and comic, musician, social media presence, and all-around post-millennium renaissance man Catfish Cooley, the sweet-heartedly vulgar, unfiltered id of the Redneck Brawl commentary workforce.

Redneck Brawl

Cooley is the beating coronary heart of the present, dealing with the Redneck Brawl’s closest approximation of play-by-play duties together with his signature mixture of humor and vitality. It’s a persona that Dangerous Left Hook beforehand described as “like Jack Black and Larry the Cable Man had a child, and raised it in a home completely caked in previous lead paint.”

However, impressed by the thrill of the earlier six Brawls, and the current well being and health modifications which have seen him lose over 80 kilos previously 12 months, Cooley stepped away from the microphone about 2/3rds of the best way by means of the published to organize for his first ever ring look.

Cooley gave a recreation effort, and landed his justifiable share of bombs. However, ultimately, it was Redneck Brawl veteran Tyler “Playboy” Holmes who emerged the victor, incomes himself one other champion’s crown, the $500 prize for profitable a struggle, and an additional $1,000 Cooley wagered on the struggle with him.

Redneck Brawl

Georgia Outlaw knocks out beforehand undefeated Sasquatch

One of the recognizable Redneck Brawl regulars is Christopher “Sasquatch” Akers, a 6’7”, 300+ lbs mountain of a person with a signature transfer that entails laying on his opponent with one forearm throughout their windpipe, utilizing his peak to smother them and depart them flailing helplessly whereas he hits them with chopping hammer fist strikes.

Sadly for Sasquatch, the Oklahoma Athletic Fee overseeing this struggle wouldn’t permit any of these ways, and opponent James “Georgia Outlaw” Scoggins was savvy sufficient to dodge him like an skilled matador. Scoggins bided his time, and finally landed an impressive energy shot that put Sasquatch down and out, ending issues by KO-1.

Redneck Brawl

Most Improved Fighter

Stephen “Nation Boot Gang” Sings was a dangerous choose to open the present. The previous JUCO basketball middle used all the benefits of his 6’9” body in his debut efficiency final day out at Redneck Brawl 6, combating a methodical, jab-heavy type that targeted on controlling distance. It didn’t do a lot for crowd satisfaction, although, and the West Virginia viewers made their dissatisfaction identified with a loud refrain of boos.

However, Nation Boot Gang got here out tonight like a human cannonball, swarming Matt “Squeaky” Davis from the opening bell and placing on a superb present. Is he the best 6’9” welterweight the novelty boxing-esque universe has ever seen? Presumably!

Questionable Trend Decisions

Redneck Brawl

Steve “Border Brawler” Carmona, and his boxer brief underpants that prolonged a number of inches previous the underside of his precise shorts.

Redneck Brawl

This Ring Card Lady, who I assumed seemed fairly cool and unconventional in a cow print outfit and a singular, tasseled hat. However, commentary described her headgear as “wanting like a lampshade,” and it’s a joke too good to exclude right here.

Redneck Brawl

Ray “Wild Behemoth” Dozier, and his uncommon selection of boxing footwear. Had been they fight boots, for fight? Work boots, for placing in work? Undecided. Appeared like a horrible selection, however then he received by TKO-2, so who am I to guage?

Redneck Brawl

Allen “Peewee” Miller, who obtained loads of worth out of a rooster swimsuit he used throughout his hype movies, weigh-in staredown, and ring entrance. Oklahoma was extra restrictive than different Brawl venues, the place we’ve seen fighters compete in Stormtrooper armor. Most individuals couldn’t even put on shirts, so the rooster outfit couldn’t keep on for the struggle itself.

Redneck Brawl

Brent “Hood McGregor” Troyer couldn’t get his glove untaped, or didn’t notice he wanted to earlier than attempting to take away it. After a number of fumbling makes an attempt, he lastly obtained an help from Conspiracy Smokeshow, who threw all of her weight into pulling off the glove.

Redneck Brawl

Scariest Second

Jon “Rowdy Barbarian” Cumpston suffered an unpleasant leg harm when opponent Zachery “Bones” Vaught despatched him to the canvas, then smothered him in opposition to the ropes and punched him repeatedly. Rowdy Barbarian couldn’t stroll or stand with out help, showing to have torn one thing vital and cargo bearing in his knee.

Redneck Brawl

Rowdy Barbarian was named the winner by disqualification, however needed to exit on a stretcher, and took a very long time getting out of the ring and onto it. He did at the very least get the winner’s test for $500, which they actually put in his hand as he was being wheeled out of the sector.

Redneck Brawl

Greatest Theft (?)

Nicholas “El Jefe” Rogers deserved a victory for his dramatic rally in opposition to Gunner “G-Heavy” Luman, the all-but-vanquished man laid out throughout the ropes within the picture above. No disrespect to G-Heavy, who began sizzling and had a superb 1st spherical… However, El Jefe got here again and received the ultimate two rounds on my unofficial scorecard. Had been the judges paid off? Or, have been they only dazzled by the tattoo of a dressed and cook-ready rooster G-Heavy has on his ample stomach? We’ll seemingly by no means know for positive.

Greatest errors by a traditional boxing author who retains foolishly assuming he can predict who will and received’t carry out effectively within the unconventional Redneck Brawl surroundings

Within the struggle previews for tonight’s motion, I used to be skeptical concerning the prospects of Jarren “Fairly Boy” Twiner and Michelle “Miss Texas Sweets” Rodriguez.

I described Fairly Boy as somebody who “appears just like the form of man who has to take breaks from enjoying Madden as a result of the controller sticks make his thumbs sore,” and speculated that his farmer opponent would blitz by means of him. Properly, I used to be proper that Chris “Slim” Kelley got here in like a twister, however completely incorrect about how Fairly Boy would stand as much as it. The pair gave us a wild, continuous motion struggle, with Fairly Boy profitable a effectively deserved determination.

I additionally assumed Miss Texas Sweets won’t have the combating spirit to deal with earlier Redneck Brawl champion Tiffany “Conspiracy Smokeshow” Baxter, however wound up studying the state of affairs completely backwards. It was Miss Texas Sweets who dominated the opening spherical, prompting a nook retirement and profitable by TKO-2.

In case you missed the reside present, you may compensate for our reside protection for all of the enjoyable and shenanigans that couldn’t match into this recap. And be a part of us in December (presumably) for reside protection and evaluation of Redneck Brawl 8!

Till then: Right here’s your full rundown of tonight’s outcomes, with winners listed in daring, and all victories by determination until in any other case specified:

• Stephen “Nation Boot Gang” Sings vs Matt “Squeaky” Davis
• Alan “Huge Horny Al” Courtoul vs Brandon “Wild One” Glisson (TKO-1)
• Jared “Spark Plug” Assavedo vs Larry “Sauce Boss” Isaacs
• Dylon “D-Nasty” Scott (KO-1) vs Tyson “Fookshytup” Kurkowski
• Nathan “Alaskan Murderer” Drury vs Steve “Border Brawler” Carmona
• Anthony “Tennessee Cornbread” Jones (TKO-1) vs Tristan “T-Dawg” Williams
• Allen “Nice White Honkey” Case vs Logan “Wild Woody” Woody
• Logan “Brawler Bear” Williams vs Ray “Wild Behemoth” Dozier (TKO-2)
• Jacob “Redneck Rambo” Wade vs Steven “Lil Scrappy” Brazille
• Cheyenne “Sheen Inexperienced” Inexperienced vs Denim “Buckshot” Burke
• Avery “Mesiah” Ruiz (TKO) vs Josh “Downside Baby” Saxton
• Nicholas “El Jefe” Rogers vs Gunner “G-Heavy” Luman
• Julius “Macho Man” Perdue vs Blake “Wild Man” Cypert
• Alton “Huge Worm” Guidry vs Kameron “Redneck Thor” Brooks
• Jarren “Fairly Boy” Twiner vs Chris “Slim” Kelley
• Rob “Double Barrel” Ginn vs Timothy “Preventing Irish” Garner – CANCELED DUE TO FAILED PHYSICALS
• Jacob “Lil Fireplace” Campbell vs Konner “Ok-Bean” Priest
• Anthony “Texas Chickasaw Brawler” Might vs Josh “Pink Bearded Woodpecker” Koplin
• Darrius “Ghetto Cowboy” Williams vs Joe “Tiny” Hughes
• Tyler “Alien” Markert vs Jaxon “White Tyson” Starling
• Robert “Lil Daddy” Muro vs Joseph “Hillbilly Joe” Gibson
• Jon “Rowdy Barbarian” Cumpston (DQ) vs Zachery “Bones” Vaught
• Trenton “White Lightning” Smith vs Allen “Peewee” Miller
• John “Huge Nation” Mathis vs Dustin “Huge Duck” Murley
• Koal “Koal Buck” Livingston vs Kohl “White Lightning” Witter
• Tiffany “Conspiracy Smokeshow” Baxter vs Michelle “Miss Texas Sweets” Rodriguez (TKO-2)
• Justin “King of Horror” Jones vs Jimmy “Lil Smokey” Campbell
• Brent “Hood McGregor” Troyer (TKO-2) vs Dillon “Redneck Reaper” Harris
• James “Georgia Outlaw” Scoggins (KO-1) vs Christopher “Sasquatch” Akers
• “Catfish” Cooley vs Tyler “Playboy” Holmes