By no means concern, (black) Friday is right here!
Greetings rugby lovers & welcome to a different Friday’s Rugby Information. Far an excessive amount of ‘stability’ and ‘rational dialogue’ on G&GR this week, so it’s time to tip the stability again to mayhem. At this time we check out the case ‘for’ the Wallabies and life underneath St Joe with ‘As Good As New Zealand’. Earlier than wanting on the case ‘towards’ in ‘WTF Was That!’. Take a gander at some British opinions in ‘The Lions Are Coming’. Roll out the welcome mat with ‘Crouching Rooster, Ready Wallaby’. Preview the upcoming Eire v Wallaroos match in ‘Paddy Whack!’ Earlier than wrapping up one other seam splitting rugby week with ‘Friday’s Goss’ with Hoss’ now hyper vigilant, to make sure immigrants don’t eat my alpacas.
As Good As New Zealand: The Case For.
A cursory take a look at any 2024 rugby information, reveals we’re at the moment nearly as good because the Kiwi’s, probably even higher once you pull aside the information. As common readers will attest, I’m a stickler for element, and beneath are the undisputable information:
- Minstrels one win, three losses 2024 TRC Marketing campaign
- Wallabies: identical
- Minstrels: consecutive defeats to South Africa 2024
- Wallabies: identical
- Minstrels: one loss at residence, one win at residence v FISM’s
- Wallabies: one win away (tick to us) & one loss away v FISM’s
- Minstrels: 4 from 7 in 2024 = 57.16% win price.
- Wallabies 4 from 7 in 2024 = identical
So simply precisely which Kiwi coach will likely be underneath probably the most stress when these two evenly matched sides meet subsequent week? Why Razor after all. And rightly so.
Lets be trustworthy for a minute. Even I might have coached that Crusaders dynasty to 16 titles in a row. They’d Richie someone, Dean Carter, Kevin Reid, Hodor, Codey Taylor, Princess Moánga. The entire set of 11 Barrett brothers, their cousins and second cousins. Electrical backs, majestic loosies. Props like Ann Franks’ uncles, Ben & Owen, to not point out the throat crusher, Joe Moody. Quiet merely, they’d an embarrassment of riches. Practically self-coached riches at that.
However plop outdated Razor into the nationwide set-up and nicely, he blows chunks. Large ol’ elephant measurement, gasoline crammed, chunks. A lot in order that even the person Kiwi’s have been so eager to rid themselves of as coach, one Fozzie B Bear, had a profession 70% win price! Go determine.
Everybody, myself included, expects the Minstrels to beat our lot. However have you ever dared ponder, what in the event that they don’t? Or maybe simply as unhealthy, what in the event that they do, but it surely’s unconvincing? What precisely would be the go mark for the AB head coach? The identical coach who sacked his assault coach earlier than the Saffa collection (what number of tries did they rating in SA once more? Hmmmmm). The identical coach who has but to chieve something of not at check stage (they barely beat England!). The identical coach who was the ‘promised one’ who would cause them to reclaim their birthright. The identical one who has a 57.16% win price.
All people is aware of that the Wallabies are on a rebuild, reset, a rugby re-awakening. So simply what will likely be an appropriate final result for a Kiwi coach, a Kiwi facet and certainly complete rugby loving Kiwi nation, after they play us? And simply think about for a minute that they don’t win?
Scary, huh.
WTF Was That: The Case In opposition to.
Jesus, Joseph & Mary. WTF was that!
Have our expectations as Australian rugby followers, fallen thus far, that we barely stand up with a whimper, not to mention with the venom, bile and anger that the Wallabies most up-to-date efficiency warrants?
Have we Wallaby followers turn into that resigned, that accepting of canine vomit being introduced as Vichyssoise that we’re prepared to swallow and settle for almost 70 POINTS scored towards our nationwide facet?
Is our solely response to be a daisy chain of hymn-singing acceptance, Bob Marley type, that ‘each little factor gonna be alright now‘?
Are you able to please go me what your inhaling Rasta’s, trigger certain as spit it have to be buffalo tranquiliser! Get up out of your slumber Rugby lovers!
We simply received sodomised by Argentina. You may discuss until you’re blue (and white) within the face about respect and their sport and all that different crud, but it surely’s nonetheless ARGENTINA! A nation that gave us, that gave us, ummm, some soccer man who’s predominant declare to fame was dishonest in a world cup after which constantly snorting coke for 40 years, till he unexpectedly died! Argen-bloody-tina! After LEADING 20-3 (a substantial lead at that), we then conceded 64 factors to our 7. Simply let that cling within the air for a minute.
And it will get worse. We have now back-to-back video games arising towards the Minstrels. Sitting throughout the ditch festering after being twice dusted in Rassie Land. And never festering in the best way these unwashed Hobbits usually fester, however festering in a ‘I’m gonna kill somebody on a rugby subject’ kind of means. And who do they play subsequent up?
As confronting, humiliating and scary as that consequence towards the FISMS was, it’s nothing in comparison with how humiliating and scary has been the dearth of response from Australian followers. And don’t get me began on participant performances. Marika absolutely is on a airplane again to Nipponville. Bobby V surrendering in a sort out, resulting in a 5m scrum, resulting in a strive. 7A’s and Slips must be wanting into nursing residence lodging. The Abattoir might be getting drained simply enthusiastic about the subsequent sport. Perhaps he’s already requested to be substituted?
That Argentinian sport stained the jersey. It stained the code and it stained the Wallaby title. And if that aint sufficient to make you mad as hell, mad sufficient to demand extra, a lot extra, then that’s a good better tragedy than the consequence.
Meek acceptance of the Santa Fe Give up? By no means.
The Lions Are Coming.
On the again of the Santa Fe Give up, the chirping has began up north concerning the close to futility of the Lions touring right here in 2025. And the worst half? They kinda’ have some extent.
Ben Youngs, 127 cap Cleaning soap Dodger veteran, has fired a number of photographs concerning the pending FUKIRs tour. And actually, is asking for a fast reschedule to have the Lions tour South Africa as a substitute. Okay, okay, we all know that gained’t occur. However you get his level.
Think about for a minute a FUKIR’s facet containing a majority of Oirsh gamers? Coached by the present Oirish coach? After which sprinkled with the most effective of the remainder of the UK. Positive, there’ll ne no Welsh gamers and few Scotts (Stuart Hogg will seemingly be doing 5-10 on future prices), however you sill have one -two useful different gamers like Maro Itoje who will function, for instance.
And sure, Youngs has by no means gained any trophy of benefit (the 6N is sort of a benefit award for sides who cant win the RWC). And sure, he was additionally a part of a Pommy facet who couldn’t get previous the pool rounds in their very own 2015 world cup. However nonetheless, primarily based on present type, the seemingly Oirish DNA of the Lions and the resultant lack of tangible progress thus far (what little there was disappeared in a haze of humiliation final week), the FUKIR’s will put 55 factors on our Wallabies with out breaking a sweat.
Youngs tells planetrugby.com “And Australia, I don’t know, I’ve been actually affected person with Australia as a result of I feel in Joe Schmidt they’ve an clearly confirmed very, excellent coach. However Argentina simply blew them away. I’m and considering the Lions are higher off going to South Africa and touring there. Provided that the final time they went there was no followers allowed. I don’t know, possibly we’ll simply do a reunion of 2013 and we’ll simply go f***ing do the enterprise on them – get all of the lads out of retirement’
Crouching Rooster, Ready Wallaby.
Tales on a number of platforms final night time, that incoming $5.35m gaol ball recruit, Caitlyn Jenner (Joseph Sua’ali’i) declaring ‘I do know I will likely be on the Wallaby finish of yr tour’. Jenner is scheduled to play for his facet the the ‘Wage Cap Stretchers’, Easts Roosters, towards perennial loig heavyweights the Penrith Poker Machine Panthers tonight, in what might probably be his final match within the code for a number of years.
You may argue all day lengthy concerning the quantity of cash spent, the dangers, the rewards blah blah blah blah blah. However I, for one, am excited. Will it work? I don’t know. Might the cash have been spent elsewhere? In all probability. However, so frigging what. The latest efficiency and loss, plus the lame duck response from followers and media alike, will hang-out me longer than the $5.35m speculated on this younger man.
I might additionally argue that earlier than Dusty Springfield (izzy Folau) left our code, each time and I do imply each time, he touched the ball for the Wallabies, I might sit a little bit extra upright and breath a little bit sharper, with a way of anticipation and pleasure, of simply what he might do on a rugby subject. Many on right here will bleat and moan that he wasn’t a rugby purist and couldn’t do that, or couldn’t do this. However he might and did, make rugby thrilling to observe for this fan and also you at all times felt that your facet was an opportunity with him in it.
This younger man is 21, he’s an unimaginable athlete and a childhood rugby participant. Will that be sufficient? No. But it surely’s an important start line to construct from. And let’s be trustworthy, precisely what have we received to lose?
Welcome Joseph.
Paddy Whack!
Sat 14th September: Eire v Wallaroos. Kingspan Stadium. Belfast. 11.20pm AEST on STAN
Saturday sees our Wallaroos tackle the Irish facet for the primary time in 7 years. The match serves a precursor to each the WXV2 marketing campaign straight after and as a part of a run in for the 2025 RWC additionally to be held within the UK.
Coach Jo Yapp has shaken issues up making plenty of modifications. Together with anointing a brand new skipper in Siokapesi ‘Cliffy’ Palu. The modifications don’t cease there, with Nathan Williamson of rugby.com.au who identifies as a ‘journalist’, reporting:
The Brumbies skipper varieties a new-look backrow alongside Leilani Nathan and Tabua Tuinakauvadra Tuinakauvadra replaces the inured Piper Duck at quantity eight while the elevation of Nathan again into the beginning facet comes as Ash Marsters strikes to hooker following a finger harm to Tania Naden.
Bridie O’Gorman shifts from tighthead to loosehead prop after Brianna Hoy ruptured her ACL at coaching. It’s a brand new look halves partnership as Natalie Wright will get her first begin for the Wallaroos alongside Faitala Moleka. Maya Stewart completes her return from a hamstring harm to companion Desiree Miller and Lori Cramer within the different change to the backline.
On the bench, forwards trio Alapeta Ngauamo, Tiarah Minns and Lucy Dinnen are in line for his or her Wallaroos debut.
Go you good issues.
Friday’s Goss’ with Hoss.
JOC Jumps.
Information yesterday that ol’ man O’Connor, Reds non secular chief, soothsayer and unofficial druid, has known as time on his time up north and certainly, in Oz and as a substitute head for pastures unknown (at this level).
There’s actually a lot to admire about the person who JC 2.0 advanced into. He was at all times an unquestioned rugby expertise. However on high of that, the person who returned to our shores 5 years in the past was additionally a really respectable human being. And for me, I’ll miss each these facets. JOC advised the Reds press:
“I’m departing Queensland a greater participant, chief and man, and I’m so grateful to have been in a position to play for this crew, my residence.
“The membership couldn’t be in higher fingers. Les and the opposite coaches are simply probably the most cohesive group I’ve ever labored with and I’m grateful I received to be part of it this yr. I’ve little doubt that there’s a variety of success to come back and I’ll be watching from overseas with deep gratitude. Thanks for every thing Queensland. It’s been a dream come true.”
Who might begrudge JOC2.0 topping up his tremendous over the subsequent few years. Go nicely JOC and from all at G&GR we want you each success and happiness and would like to se you in Gold once more.
Gateau Legislation. No Extra.
I’ve stated it earlier than and I’ll say it once more. Decide the most effective Australian gamers, no matter the place they’re primarily based. It’s time to be courageous and suppose new.
A Buddy In Want.
A coup for the 2025 SRW Brumbies marketing campaign, with the information on rugby.com.au that Andy Buddy will likely be their new new head coach. Broadly revered throughout all rugby circles, this isn’t only a coup for the Brumbies girls’s facet, however for Australian teaching shares on the whole. A good friend certainly.
Polar Opposites.
How good are the Saffa’s going, after they can go away this lot at residence from the Argentina tour to ‘handle participant workloads’: Bongi Mbonambi (hooker), Frans Malherbe (prop), Pieter-Steph du Toit (unfastened ahead), Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu (flyhalf), Damian de Allende (centre), Cheslin Kolbe (wing) and Willie le Roux (fullback).
Might we borrow some?
Strike Three.
How silly is Stuart Hogg? Not content material with 2 arrests this yr, he was arrested & charged a 3rd time this week, solely a day earlier than he was due in court docket to listen to issues regarding his second arrest.
planetrugby.com has extra.
Sq. Eyes.
No TRC this weekend = no downside! The Pacific Cup is nearing the sharp finish this weekend. All occasions are AEST and dwell on STAN:
- Sat 4.50pm Tonga v Canada – fifth place play off.
- Sat 7.55pm Fiji v USA – SF1.
- Solar 3.55pm Samoa v Japan SF2
What odds a Fiji v Japan remaining!
Till Subsequent Week. Good luck golden ladies.
Hoss – out.
