Dearly beloved, we’re gathered right here right now to scale back productiveness, keep away from the thoughts numbing mundaneness of all of it and as an alternative focus on that which makes life bearable: Rugby bloody Union.
Welcome to a different seam busting Friday’s Rugby Information.
A lot information, so little time. Immediately we tackle rumblings at Daceyville in ‘I Wish to Break Free?’. Fall for a pretend headline with ‘The Best Ever?’. Forged a important eye over Queensland motivation and ways in ‘Les Tanking?’ Dim the lights & your expectations and prepared your self for ‘Getting Intimate with Hoss’. Have a look at this weeks upcoming SRP matches in ‘Unfortunate 13’. Preview the Wallaroos v Seppos take a look at with ‘Wallaroos v Seppo Check’. And banish your price range blues with one other ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’ who’s surplus is so massive, I would like to purchase an even bigger belt.
I Wish to Break Free?
Information breaking on Thursday within the SMH that Tahs talisman, this weekends 100 cap centurion and exhausting working skipper, Jake ‘Commissioner’ Gordon has allegedly approached each the Tahs and RA for an early launch from his contract. While it’s reported that the Tahs had been open to the thought, the ultimate choice rests with RA. And on that entrance, RA have responded with a giant ‘up yours’ and denied his request.
The SMH reviews that Gordon, who’s signed till the tip of 2025, ‘was eager to discover a possibility to play in France with Perpignan subsequent season’.
While I can perceive the Commissioner could also be barely miffed at RA’s choice, studying between the traces it could additionally imply that the refusal from RA means Gordon is central to St Joe’s plans for the upcoming July collection verse 6N additionally rans, Wales.
Watch this house.
The Best Ever?
Nicely too be honest, on the subject of the Rebels it’s a fairly low bar isn’t it?
Fascinating headline and skim on rugby.com.au from serial click-bait provocateur Nathan Williamson. The headline reads: Rebels able to take alternative to change into biggest ever facet and unsurprisingly pertains to the Reb’s push to change into the primary Mexican facet to ever make a mixed Tremendous Rugby finals collection.
Williamson, a famend grasp baiter, interviews Melbourne’s personal Mr Anderson, winger Lachie, to debate what this can imply to the gamers and coaches to play what’s presumably their final ever house sport this weekend, at wherever it’s they play.
At present sixth on the ladder and solely six factors behind the fifth positioned QPRQ facet, the Rebs deserve each credit score for the way they’ve each carried out themselves and the way they’ve performed, while beneath appreciable off area duress. And whether or not they win this subsequent up fixture at house or not, the gamers, coaches and all concerned ought to be held within the highest regard, for all times can’t have been a bag of guffaws for all concerned.
Who is aware of, possibly with all of the excrement they’ve needed to endure, the uncertainty, the various tales, absolutely the vacuous, data void RA has put them in, they may simply shock just a few within the finals anyway. Adversity can even change into a glue that binds.
‘Best ever facet?’ Perhaps, possibly not. A group and organisation that may maintain their heads excessive regardless? Absofrigginglutely.
Go effectively Rebels.
Les Tanking?
No, not the identify of late night time SBS film, though it could make for an fascinating tackle ‘Outback Truckers’. However on this case, I sense one thing much more sinister from the plotters and schemers of the Communist organisation: a deliberate ‘tanking’. All of it wreaks of a tacit admission from the coach of the Reds that he’s genuinely fearful about the potential of the Tahs sneaking into the eight and the harm they’d nearly actually trigger to all sides. Learn on.
Riddle me this Gaggers. What potential cause would you tackle the Drua, in Suva, in sizzling, humid, heavy and testing circumstances, with a prime 4 spot nonetheless to play for, but relaxation so many of your traditional and profitable beginning XV?
The reply is straightforward. To assist the Drua win. And in doing so, ruling the Tahs out of rivalry for the ultimate eight. That’s why.
What we’ve as an alternative this week, courtesy of those ‘ways’, is 14 rugby gamers, plus Suli Vunivalu, taking the sector in opposition to the Drua. A facet that have to be licking it’s lips with the ‘leg up’ Les has given them! No Fez, no Flook, no Harry, no Lynagh, no Blyth, no Greer, and with Suli on the wing appearing like a 195cm flip fashion, the die is forged. Give me a break.
They might as effectively simply forfeit the sport and exit on the Gold Coast as an alternative. ‘Respecting the Drua’? No manner. ‘Resting Gamers’, for what, an early exit to the finals? No sirrrreee Bob. That is the equal of a rugby gerrymander. The Reds are terrified of the Tahs and these are the despicable lengths they resort too to maintain a (presumably) resurgent NSW facet out of the finals. I haven’t been this enraged since I noticed that underarm bowling incident just a few years again, then realised it was solely in opposition to NZ, so immediately didn’t care and certainly applauded the ‘pondering exterior of the field’ angle and management.
Decency dictates a rugby royal fee be established now. And only for the document and as some extent of reference: the Ukrainian’s would kill for a ‘tank’ of this magnitude.
Getting Intimate with Hoss.
28 minutes you’ll stay to remorse always remember.
That’s proper Gaggers, there’s a brand new podcast dropping at 12.30pm right now (Gods time) referred to as ‘Getting Intimate with Hoss‘.
Include me & peek behind the rugby curtain and get to know the actual particular person that lurks behind the rugby persona. Over the collection we are going to discuss to gamers, coaches and directors alike and get their tackle all issues rugby in Oz, warts and all.
Focus on simply what their rugby journey been like, what are the sacrifices, their challenges and their aspirations.
So mild the incense stick, kick off your boots, pour your self a tipple and make your self snug
Unique to G&GR at 12.30pm right now. Additionally out there on podcast suppliers that carry actually, actually poor content material. And bear in mind, should you don’t just like the podcast, you may slash the seats.
Unfortunate #13.
With three rounds to go it’s mathematically potential that all of the groups are nonetheless within the hunt for the all necessary prime eight end. Some simply to allow them to be knocked out first week of the ultimate, however nonetheless boast of ‘making the finals’. So let’s leap into spherical #13 of SRP, little question it can show unfortunate for some.
Who wins and why see beneath. For all group information, take a look at Pleased’s Thursday Rugby Information.
Friday 17 Could 5:05 PM AEST – Hurricanes v Moana Pasifika at SKY Stadium, Wellington. STAN Sport
Okay, so the Canes have made 11 adjustments, however I’m certain they nonetheless ‘totally russpict Moana Pasifikia’ however they’ll nonetheless be too sturdy for MP and their lot gained’t they?
MP have one upset in them yearly. This shall be that upset.
Fearless Prediction: MP by 4
Referee: James Doleman Assistant Referees: Jono Bredin, Fraser Hannon
Friday 17 Could 7:35 PM AEST – Melbourne Rebels v Chiefs at AAMI Park, Melbourne. STAN Sport
Huge sport, massive feelings? Perhaps, possibly not. The Rebs have had every part thrown at them this yr, however they only carry on holding on. And I reckon they could be a smokie for this one. Offered Flash Gordon takes the reigns alone for this one, within the absence of injured Andrew Kellaway as backup.
The Chiefs are wall to wall expertise, threats in every single place and hazard at each flip. However I simply don’t care, typically each underdog simply has it’s day.
Fearless Prediction: That is that point. Rebs by 6,
Referee: Nic Berry Assistant Referees: Damon Murphy, George Myers
Saturday 18 Could 12:05 PM AEST – Fijian Drua v Queensland Reds at HFC Financial institution Stadium, Suva. STAN Sport
Stated all of it above.
Fearless Prediction: Drua by 15. For disgrace Queensland.
Referee: Angus Gardner Assistant Referees: Matt Kellahan, Jeremy Markey
Saturday 18 Could 2:35 PM AEST – ACT Brumbies v Crusaders at GIO Stadium, Canberra. Stan Sport
The Crusaders have damaged extra droughts this yr than La Niña. Groups that haven’t ever gained in Christchurch have gained. Groups that haven’t gained in Christchurch since color TV was invented, have gained. Groups which have by no means performed the Crusaders ever, have nonetheless gained. And so will probably be for the Brumbies on this one.
The Ponies haven’t crushed the Saders since 2009, some 15 years in the past. The Saders are with out their precise & non secular skipper in Scott Barrett and his loss, together with usually having little to no thought on the right way to play rugby, will add to their 2024 story of woe.
Fearless Prediction: Ponies by loads: 19.
Referee: Ben O’Keeffe Assistant Referees: Stu Curran, Jackson Henshaw
Saturday 18 Could 5:05 PM AEST – Blues v Highlanders at Eden Park, Auckland, on Stan Sport
The Blues have rested a handful of gamers for this one, most notably Hoskins Sotutu (SRP participant of the yr anybody?). The Landers had a victory final up in opposition to the Crusaders, however who hasn’t? This shall be a bridge to far for the Landers although.
Fearless Prediction: Blues by 12.
Referee: Paul Williams Assistant Referees: Dan Waegna, Mike Winter
Saturday 18 Could 7:35 PM AEST – Western Pressure v NSW Waratahs at HBF Park, Perth. Stan Sport
A concreter, an Argie backpacker & a Sydney man stroll right into a bar and bloke yells : ‘you three wanna play rugby this weekend?’ and so the present NSW Waratahs entrance row is fashioned.
It’s effectively documented simply how utterly decimated the Tahs entrance row shares are. Add to {that a} skipper who might want out, the lack of Flanders simply as he’s getting into his prime years as a again rower, the lack of a #10 beginning to get into his groove, a coach beneath stress, a $4.8m loss, a CEO with the blow torch utilized to his privates and also you begin to get my drift.
There is no such thing as a smart or sane cause to again the Tahs probabilities in any respect on this one. Particularly in opposition to a facet that so comprehensively hammered the Drua final week and look to be in some fairly good type in their very own proper.
Fearless Prediction: Since when have Fridays been about ‘smart and sane’? Tahs by 11. Lookout Les, right here we come.
Referee: Jordan Approach Assistant Referees: Reuben Keane, Jordan Kaminski
Wallaroos v Seppos Check.
Our golden ladies received a brutal actuality examine final week in opposition to the Canucks. The group from Canada seemed effectively drilled, cohesive and an actual class above our group. When the Wallaroos had been capable of get quick ruck ball to the sides, they did look harmful. Nevertheless the second half became kick-tennis and our kicks had been, effectively, shite. That apart the Canadians had been deserved winners and now transfer to #3 on the earth rankings.
This weekend the Wallaroos are in Melbourne to tackle worlds #tenth ranked facet, the divided states of America. The match shall be performed as a curtain raiser for the Insurgent v Chiefs match and I hope the alleged sports activities mad followers of Victoria really present up for a change and help the women.
The Wallaroos welcome again gun entrance rower and 2023 Wallaroo Participant of the 12 months, Eva Karpani to the beginning facet. However the actually massive information is the run on of 17yo teenager, Caitlyn Halse who will begin at fullback. In doing so Caitlyn will change into the youngest participant ever, mens or womens, to expire for both of our nationwide rugby facet. Congrats Caitlyn and go effectively ‘Child Dynamite’.
Beginning XV: 1. Brianna Hoy (NSW Waratahs) – 4 caps 2. Tania Naden (ACT Brumbies) – 11 caps 3. Eva Karpani (NSW Waratahs) – 22 caps 4. Kaitlan Leaney (NSW Waratahs) – 16 caps 5. Michaela Leonard (c) (Western Pressure) – 23 caps 6. Siokapesi Palu (ACT Brumbies) – 7 caps 7. Ashley Marsters (Melbourne Rebels) – 27 caps 8. Piper Duck (NSW Waratahs) – 11 caps 9. Samantha Wooden (Western Pressure) – 1 cap 10. Arabella McKenzie (NSW Waratahs) – 22 caps 11. Desiree Miller (NSW Waratahs) – 3 caps 12. Trilleen Pomare (Western Pressure) – 25 caps 13. Georgina Friedrichs (NSW Waratahs) – 20 caps 14. Maya Stewart (NSW Waratahs) – 9 caps 15. Caitlyn Halse* (NSW Waratahs) – debut
Reserves 16. Hera-Barb Malcolm Heke (Western Pressure) – 1 cap 17. Sally Fuesaina (ACT Brumbies) – 1 cap 18. Bridie O’Gorman (NSW Waratahs) – 18 caps 19. Atasi Lafai (NSW Waratahs) – 10 caps 20. Leilani Nathan (NSW Waratahs) – 3 caps 21. Layne Morgan (NSW Waratahs) – 20 caps 22. Faitala Moleka (ACT Brumbies) – 7 caps 23. Lori Cramer (Queensland Reds) – 20 caps *Denotes debut
As for the Seppos, they’ve some gamers who personal weapons, shoot animals and drive outsized utes and store at Costco or Walmart and do stuff.
There’s additionally extra than simply wounded delight to play for. A win will see our group keep within the prime ranked WXV1 league for subsequent yr, a loss might see them relegated to the WXV2 competitors. Stated it earlier than and I’ll say it once more, I really like the thought of relegation and promotion throughout all rugby comps.
Fearless Prediction: Wallaroos by 23.
Friday’s Goss’ with Hoss.
Ned’s useless child.
But once more a Friday Rugby Information unique comes true. That’s one to this point this yr. Fan favorite, Ned Flanders Hannigan has confirmed he’s off on a 2 yr paid French vacation. No particulars as to which membership he has signed for, possibly he’s simply back-packing his manner spherical for some time? Anyhoo, I’m genuinely sorry to see him depart. He has been excellent this yr for Tahs and a gold jersey will need to have been shut.
Journey secure Flanders and Au Revoir.
Turning Japanese? I actually suppose so.
Final particular person out, prove the lights. Introduced through the identical media launch, information that Will Harrison has additionally accepted a proposal from abroad. While no group has been confirmed, yours actually hears he’ll swimsuit up for the Toyota Godzilla Spark Plug Air Fryers.
Mr Harrison had a stunning run of accidents however has compelled his manner again into the beginning facet at Daceyville. His flat attacking sport, willingness to assault the road, left footed kicking possibility and laser-like objective kicking shall be sorely missed.
Query with out discover to RA: do you suppose somebody at HQ would possibly take away head from bottom anytime quickly, make a name on the Rebels future and in doing so, cease the whole destabilisation of our home enjoying & teaching ranks?
Only a thought.
Sam caned.
What’s tougher than making an attempt to enhance on Friday’s Rugby Information? Perhaps making an attempt to be a greater AB’s skipper than St Richie McCaw, that’s what. For the document, I quiet like Sam Cane. He performs with a toughness that have to be admired and carries himself with a humility that earns respect. I believed he was stiffed getting the crimson card within the RWC remaining, however there you go.
stuff.co.unzid has a ballot occurring his substitute as skipper. At time of printing, the throat slitter was at 56%, effectively forward of second selection, the All Black with probably the most crimson playing cards ever Scott ‘Vino’ Barrett. Noice decisions huh?
Kiwi bums.
And for a change, they’re not bleeding our welfare system dry. Nicely not these ones anyway.
In a certain signal that Kiwi followers are rising bored with the garbage leisure from their rugby sides, there have been 4 separate pitch invaders through the Highlander v Crusaders match final week. And if ever one wanted proof that Kiwi’s merely can’t deal with their ‘mild’ beers, two of those invaders had been starkers.
Of those two ‘naturalists’ one was fined, the opposite exonerated, when he defined he was taking a shortcut throughout the sector to get to a close-by sheep station. When requested by the decide what his intentions had been upon arrival on the station the Hansard exhibits he replied ‘flocking’. Though it’s sincerely hoped that’s what he might need mentioned anyway.
Certain we oppress, torture & maim. However right here’s some money.
Not simply content material with marrying effectively above his station, former cleaning soap dodger Mike Tindall has waged into the talk about sports activities usually and rugby union particularly, accepting Saudi cash.
Talking on ‘The Good, the Dangerous and The Rugby’ podcast, the royal rooter mentioned, with no trace of discernible irony: “It’s a sizzling potato, however I’d say sure. We appear to be a sport which by no means will get rewarded for our loyalty and our values”
So there you go kiddies, if you wish to be rewarded on your loyalty and values, simply settle for massive wads of money from those that kill, torture and maim journalists and anybody else who has the temerity to talk out in opposition to the regime. You understand, the very values of freedom, alternative, equity and decency, that our sport purports to stands for. Or at the least that’s what Mr J. Nutta of: Unit 1725 – 1678 Cabramatta Boulevard, Hurstville NSW, 2220. Who finishes work round 9pm and parks his automotive three ranges down within the advanced automotive park and drives a fuchsia pink Nissan Micra, mentioned to me.
That’s a wrap.
A reminder that G&GR godfather, Don Sully, shall be again tomorrow together with his weekend version. Want a rugby repair on a Saturday, then Sully has you lined.
Till subsequent week. Go the Tahs
Hoss – out.
